Appetite

Open fridge, full of food, but nothing looks good, need to eat, catalyze metabolism. Fine grind redolence stickysweet packed into marbled ceramic bowl, grab a lighter, and head out the screen door to backyard patch of grass with bushes and hedges in front of fences and walls to mark property lines. Scan for anyone watching, no one home during the day, lots of windows though, never sure that no one’s watching you in the city…

Crckckll Pwwwhhhuuuhhhh….

Almost out, text Tom, trying to break into business with his new connect, higher up the wholesale chain than Foster, has been picking up quaps, said he’ll prorate me down to the gram. Still need to scratch up some dollars somewhere, could roll up coins that grandma left and take to the bank, sent me the different fifty state quarters as they were being released to put in a cardboard display, said they’ll be worth a lot eventually.

Crkll Pwwhhuuhhh….

Should try to get outside at least once every day, has been easy to sleep past noon, deep rest anemia. Sunlight on face feels good, if we synthesize sunlight into vitamin D that gives us energy doesn’t that mean that we photosynthesize too? Our patch of lawn sunnier than the others after we had to chop down our tree that sister and I used to climb because it reached hazardous heights next to the power lines running through the backyards, and possible property damage if limbs fell in a storm. We used to have a fig tree and some mint for consumption, but can’t eat anything grown in the soil after 9/11, need a garden bed. Saw on an old map of Brooklyn that these streets that run down to the East (Sound) River used to mark property lines for family farms back in the 18th century. Neighbor’s cats slow creeping hunch-shouldered atop the fence, focused on a bluejay pecking, not going to catch it though, doesn’t need to, meow mix on the back stairs.

ckll pwwhuhee… kicked, ashes into the rain drain.

Back inside to the kitchen, cup of water for dry mouth. What to eat? Something easy, crackers and peanut butter… or yogurt, stir in a bit of the acidophilus from the fridge, and then load up with granola, mom got one without nuts or seeds for me. Remember to write it down in the food journal.

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