Dilaudid

sscccrrrrrrccccccchhhhhh

ba-DUM ba-DUM

“88 over 46, fine for him.”

ba-DUM ba-dum ba-dum…

“How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

that edge at the center of dull heaviness… unggnnghh “Mmmm” nod

“Have you pressed this recently?”

Nnn,” shake, press the button, buzz in: what is pain?

“Okay, if you are still in pain press the button again in five minutes. It’ll start to help soon. Mom you can’t press it but you can remind him in five minutes. Okay, open…” thermometer in blue latex hand, “close… okay 97.6. You’re all good. I’m going to drain your JPs now, okay?”

My what?

“These guys down here, they’re almost full.” 

Oh right, fluid grenades sutured to small incisions above either hip, drained and then squeezed for more suction, inward tug, look up at the ceiling, you’re okay, conscious and compos mentis I think, mom’s here, everything’s okay, press the button but not time yet.

“Thanks.”

 “Of course. Before I leave can I see you breathe into the spirometer?”

HuuhHUHH

“Pretty good, let’s see if you can make it up to the marker, keep trying to push it up.”

HuuhhHUHHH

“Can I drink water?”
“Yes, I’ll get you a pitcher, but just take small sips okay?” she left the room.

“Well this pain management system is tricky,” said mom, “if you’re asleep how are you supposed to press the pain button? You’re going to wake up in pain.”

“I guess if I’m sleeping the pain’s not bad enough. I’ll try to hold on to it and press it when I think of it.”

Headphones on, press again click click button releases drip down into the chamber unggg imperceptible at first but slowly the edge diffused into the surrounding dull weight…

because a mainline to my vein leads to a center in my head, sink down into warmth and let my mind retreat…

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