beeeeep… beeeeep… beeeeep…

“Hey, sorry to wake you, have to take your vitals.”  

Eyes open, large room, a dozen or so older patients in here not looking sprightly, Intensive Care Unit.

Blood pressure cuff around an arm, squeeze and release…

“Say Ahh…”
Ahhhh

thermometer inserted under tongue

Where is my? Cliclick…

“Alright, everything’s stable.”

They turned to the next bed and repeated procedure.

Lie back and look up at the ceiling, at least the acute pain is gone, back with the weak and heavy core numbed from dilaudid drip. Try to fall back asleep but the beeeeepbeeeeepbeeeeep and low murmurmur around the room… haven’t eaten anything substantial in over a week, where does any energy keeping me awake come from? Wish I had my own room. Can’t concentrate but can at least put on music, downloaded the album Paul sent me, sit up and grab iPod, headphones on, Innerspeaker, Lucidity, cliclick…

I know where you went but I don’t know how you got there…

Someone approaching, my surgeon with a wave and half smile, headphones off.

“Hey.”

“Hello, glad to see you awake and alert.”

“I’m alive.”

“Do you have any pain?”

“I’m okay, the dilaudid is working.”

“Good. Well, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, but we have everything under control now, and will be able to get you back on track once your body has healed.”

“So there was a leak?”
“Yes, we located a tiny, but significant, disruption of the staple line near the tip of the j-pouch, so we have diverted your ileum again to let everything heal. You may find that the ileostomy is a little bit larger this time.”

“Do you think the J-pouch can still work?”

“Yes, we will discuss the next the operation in my office in a couple weeks, but I am confident that we will be able to proceed with reconnecting your pouch. For now, though, we just want you to rest and heal.”

Phew, “Okay, I can do that.”

“Good. You’re looking much better than when you checked in.”

“How long do you think I’ll be in here for?”

“Depends on your progress, you’ll have to eat some soft food and make sure your system is functioning for a day or two before we let you go home.”

“Okay.”

“Alright? I’m very happy to see that you are awake and not in pain. If anything comes up the nurses will contact me right away. I will touch base with your parents as well.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Okay, I will see you soon,” he gave me an empathetic touch on the shoulder and left the ward.
Glad for the reassurance, though he seems a little nervous. Wonder if he’s ever had a problem like this before. Have to continue to trust him though, only one with firsthand knowledge of my jerry-rigged plumbing. Probably should have done the procedure in three steps as opposed to two. Another nurse came over to drain my various fluid refuse bags. Don’t want to look down yet at the new state of my stomach, cliclick…  

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