My tongue discerned potency from the extra bitterness of steroid pills. To avoid the awful aftertaste, I filled my mouth with water first and then gulped without letting the pill even for a moment touch my tongue. This helped keep my taste buds acute for the first few days of the regimen, but by the time I peaked dose at 30 milligrams, the back of my mouth was coated in thrush which tinged everything sour. I tried to scrape the plaque off my tongue, but it would grow right back. My appetite didn’t care about the bad taste however, mom made twice the amount of carbs for dinner. Weight started to gain again, up thirty pounds over a few weeks, converted to muscle at soccer practice, not my own testosterone.
Instead of a tactical passer I became a bowling ball, knocking over defenders before smacking shots like my legs were Barry Bonds’ baseball bats, bump… BAM. Adrenaline heightens the moment, pulse quickens, tick tick tick game clock, pat pat pat cleats on turf. Ball controlled by their player ahead of me, feinting left and moving right past my teammates, gaining confidence keeps his head down with tunnel vision towards the goal, I pick up pace, sprint, and put my shoulder into him to knock him off course, collect the ball, turn and clear up field, high bounce on the hard astroturf, loose ball in a scrum, a toe poke ricochets off shin, bounce towards me, control, with the ball at my feet static starts to blur, tickpatickpatick and players indiscernible, but I know Tom is sprinting down the wing, so I play the ball to where I imagine he will be, and he is there to receive the pass. Sprint forward to the edge of the eighteen and Tom chucks it in the mixer, plunging, crashing bodies, ball again spits out in my direction, plant my left cleat and snap my right foot at the ball BAM sound connection, with knuckle over the static, dipping… into the net. Hooray! Ay! Whrrwhee! Ref points at midfield.
What a flourish!
On the walk to the train, Tom congratulated me, “back from the dead with a vengeance!”
“Yeah, it’s nice being a senior, big man on the pitch.”
“You lit that one kid up, sent him flying.”
“Oh yeah, I thought the ref was gonna whistle that.”
“It was clean, shoulder to shoulder. Just gotta hope the other team’s coach doesn’t ask to test you for PEDs.”
“Haha, they’re medical totally legal. Just don’t know how long it will last.”
“You got back into shape real quick.”
“Yeah, my cardio came right back as soon as my stomach got better.”
“Well we still got a shot to make the playoffs if we win our next two games.”
“Did you guys see Alice on the sidelines?”
“Yeah, I saw her there for a little bit, but she left before halftime.”
Missed my goal. Letdown.
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